I'm different

24th Birthday

2011-07-06T02:24:00.002+08:00

Today is a day to be remembered, not because its my birthday but for the things that ive done, and for the consequences that may follow in the future.

One day it will all be routine and being afraid of changes, and when the cup is filled, its the first sign that this process has started.

I spent 3 years hoping, i cannot do it much longer.

One will be vulnerable if one trusts, but without it one is nothing.

hope to see u in a few months time blog.. i am sorry i dont know how to change your background.. and i dont intend to learn.

If if if if if

2010-07-28T00:22:00.001+08:00

If i dont update my blog, why would there be anyone who will tag at this empty useless blog???

Enough

2010-06-22T09:04:00.002+08:00

8.30 am and i get woken up by a phone call... from my beloved fucking girlfriend.

know why?

oh because one of my ex has this photo that she tagged me in, and told us all to like it for her baby! and so i did, and after that i removed it from my pictures because im not fucking inside.

and Miss fucking girlfriend thinks that i went to like it on my own accord.

So tell me, someone like myself who dont go onto facebook other than for My restaurant and My Empire (recently), decides to go over to his ex's facebook and like one of her pictures. Someone like me who knows that my fucking girlfriend is fucking sensitive to all this shit and she stalks me like nobody's reason, decides to do that.. AM I THAT STUPID?

Seriously having enough of all these stalking bullshit... ive never told anyone about your stalking activities, so blog, please endure all these bullshit first ok? fucking girlfriend wont listen, and i am going to stop trying because i FUCKING DONT CARE ANYMORE!!

Ive no one to tell all these to, so here i am sitting here like an idiot typing to my computer screen. you know what blog, fuck it, fuck all this..

1000 years since

2010-06-21T00:38:00.001+08:00

it has been a long long while since i typed in here... i need to strike off the pink ic as one of my wishes... cause i finally got my long lost girlfriend back a week ago...

got my scholarship for uni.. thanks to the pig.. ( i bet she is going to scold me)

tada~~~~

I am a liverpool fan for 1 day

2010-05-02T01:31:00.000+08:00

02.05.2010

this day shall be the day.

Bye Bye Hammy number 2

2010-04-06T23:19:00.003+08:00

You used to be the big one.. walking around the tank, with no intend of chasing the small one.
(we know because you're lazy)

You used to be the one stealing all the food, with the small one looking at you, again u dont give a damn.
(We know because you're lazy)

Lately you became lighter, you stopped eating much.
(not because you're lazy, but because we think you're sick)

Last Sunday was the last time i said bye bye to you, im glad you waited to see me, or i hope you actually did, but nevertheless, im still grateful, to have you in the family once.

Im sorry hammy, because i didnt do much for you, but at least u had the love of my love.

RIP my dear, like the 1st, you'll always be in our memories.

2010-03-26T23:28:00.001+08:00

i haven been updating for a long time.

not today too.

Nose Dropping

2010-03-12T14:01:00.002+08:00

The people in my office seriously dont understand english.

There has been complains that the air con is super cold, hence the order was given down that the air con must be kept at 23 degrees celcius, with masking tape pasted over the controls and a slip saying "BY ORDERS - TEMP TO BE KEPT AT 23 DEGREES CELCIUS"

Either they're blind or they're blind, today Alan found the temp to be at 16, so i walked over, turned it back to 23 and shouted - "you wait, i sure bring super glue"

remind me

Growing Up

2010-03-11T18:50:00.002+08:00

So many things happened for the past few weeks.

I'm writing this post with "Because you live" playing in the background, a song that i always listen to when i think im giving up.

I accepted Ryan's request of giving him tuition for a fee of half of what he is paying now. Not because he cannot afford his previous cost (he is filthy rich), but because deep down inside me im still finding a real male friend whom i can tell shit to. On top of that i would have extra income, so money wouldn be a problem. Time would though, but that has its pros and cons, we meet lesser, you get more time to study, you didnt seem to agree.

Ive decided to sell my desktop to Raymond, and Kenneth agreed to help me fix up a new comp, i didnt get to share that with you before we parted 10mins after we met.

Today i did something which i have never done before, i walked away without looking back at all. I kept on walking and walking. From my house i walked all the way to somewhere near bukit panjang, a place where i am used to in the past because of certain reasons.

Everyone walks, today i did that to clear my mind, i walked not thinking of anything, its just my brain telling my legs to put one foot in front of another. I crossed 3 small roads without looking, luckily or unluckily no car came, and i was hoping somewhere behind me you would grab my shoulder and scold me for not being careful, but no one did.

I walked till my lips were super dry, until i could look up because my neck is straining, then i decided to U-turn back because im scared you are still waiting for me under my block.

On my way back i pass by St Anthony's Primary School. Its dismissal for the kids there and so i managed to look at them while walking. When i was young, i always wanted to grow up, everyone does right? If i grow up i will have more pocket money, i can go out with friends till a later time, ect ect.

Just now when i look at them, i wish i am back at that age, the money that i earn now would have been alot to those kids that are walking past me, never enough for me when im turning 23. Their work now is so much more difficult, but when you are in a class with people of your generation, every work would fall into your brain wouldn it?

I made eye contact with a few of them, and they gave me the innocent look, and im thinking they must be thinking of growing up. God let them enjoy their time before they finally grow up.

Im really tired, mentally and physically. I am frustrated. I am exploding. Yes this is a call for help because i have no one to vent my anger and accumulated frustration on. I show Ashley a few black faces, i shout at Darius for no reasons, i ignored Ryan for nothing, i go walking around the office because i dont know why, but all these isint enough to cool me down. From the first sms in the morning until the time i go to sleep im threading on a time bomb. I always thought that i am super paitent, but apparently i am not, after i met you, i need to clear my mind, and thats why i choosed to walk today, i walked without looking back.

I dont wanna grow up... growing up makes me think, makes me responsible for another person's emotion, growing up means saying bye to my love ones, growing up means 1 day i would have to say bye bye to people who loves me.

sigh

2010-02-23T23:43:00.000+08:00

thing that i can do i will do, things that i cant do, wad you want me to do?

I'm bored

2010-02-22T16:24:00.003+08:00

3.5 more months and im done with this shit.

lucky my understudy is a cool shit.

lucky im still alive

lucky my family is safe

lucky my dog is still running

lucky my gf is still as caring

fuck i still haven got my pink ic

fuck i still have my uni to worry about

fuck i still have to go through 3 yrs of hell for my degree

ok im just bored.

Chinese New Year

2010-02-14T01:17:00.001+08:00

God Daddy is in the hospital

My steamboat at home spoiled

It falls on valentine's day

i still haven got my pink ic

$&*%^&%@^@%

Random

2010-02-09T23:48:00.002+08:00

This 2 days was hell, but im glad i can see a little of heaven now.

12/01/2010 was the last time i was on mc... 2 more days and i'll have went to work for a month straight.. but i dont intend to carry this on for too long.

my pink ic is getting nearer to me.. my long lost love.. why did i neglected you for the first 6 years when we were together?? sigh...

anyway.. i got a blackberry, so for those few ppl that actually does read this boring blog, please tell me if u have one too.

Shawn just ord-ed yesterday, elson is gonna ord tml.. heard from people charles heng is leaving the country on the 12th to study in Aust.. everyone is leaving, im next in the registry, the difference is i'll still be stuck in the education system of this country, which i really have the urge not to.. 2 years of staring at the computer, i cant even spell simple words sometimes.. dont even talk about complicated math.

Airshow

2010-02-09T23:45:00.002+08:00

Uncle raymond took this shot for me.. without my knowledge.. anyway.. that shit is heavy... poor PES ABC..

2 years

2010-02-06T01:02:00.001+08:00

2 years i spent trying to gain ur trust

2 years i spent trying to forget about my past

2 years i spent trying to start a new life

2 years i spent trying to distant myself away

2 years i spent, wasting my fucking time.

long time no see

2010-02-01T23:44:00.002+08:00

Dear virtual diary,

your owner is a lazy bum, i haven been visiting you, and the reason why im here today is not because i wanted to, but rather i got reminded of how lazy i was by you know who.

anyway, your owner got a blackberry, so whichever arse has one please tell me, although no one reads this blog, but if i dont write this down i wont be able to sleep.

4+ months to my pink ic, i cannot wait anymore.. im dying in camp...

please pray that i will be back, hopefully soon.

The grass is always greener on the other side

2010-01-17T21:41:00.001+08:00

How true this statement is?

If this is the case, when will one truly be happy?

When will one truly be contended?

In any case, i'll always make the patch of grass im standing on greener than ytd.

First times

2010-01-14T19:04:00.002+08:00

Accuse, (A)xaggerate, and Accuse -- > thats the new motto of her life, and it will most probably be this for the rest of her life.

It has been ages since i took public transport in the morning. Like i said, 1/3 of my pathetic money goes to comfort.

So on Wednesday morning, (monday, tuesday on mc) i miraculously woke up at 6am.
On my way to the MRT station, i was like thinking to myself, shit! EZ-link no $$, and i dont have cash, so i had to go to the atm and withdraw ($20 was what i intended). So coincidentally, that stupid ATM machine doesnt have $10 bills, and i had to withdraw a $50 instead.

I'll never in my life top up $50 in my card, hence i went to the control and did a $20 top up instead, guess what? When i entered the "Gate", i had $30+++ in my card. Apparently my card still has $10+++ in it and i didnt know, and now i have an EZ-link that has $30+++, first time in my life.

Oh, and i bought a razer mouse, first time in my life, #$%^%&#^& expensive mouse. ok im mad.

2 days MC

2010-01-12T00:54:00.001+08:00

WOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To you.

2010-01-10T23:45:00.003+08:00

Spastic pighead,

i first came across this word "spastic" when i met you, all the adj you ever use to describe people is this, so i guess you are one too.

Term is about to start and life is going to be super tough for the both of us.

Quarrels are inevitable, but i believe we've got enough experience to pull through this.

Patience is the key on my side, and i believe endurance and a clear mind is yours. Dont ever give up, because if you do, thats the end of everything and even i cant do much to help, think of the future spastic, and think of all the wishes that we ever had.

Im sitting here, typing all this, ignoring the newest sms that you just sent because i want this to be done up so there will be one less person crying on this world atm, so smile!!!! i know you will, =p

whenever you're pmsing, i'll flare up, but at the end of the day i'll always be here, arms open waiting for you, so that you can once again build up your confidence and start a new day with new energy. trust me.

with tonnes of love, tons of love, lots of love. always and forever.

boring shit

2010-01-10T16:02:00.002+08:00

this weekend is boring shit, except for the going out.

tuition tuition tuition

$$$ which comes once in a month.

so 4 weeks of suffering for 1 day of $.

boring shit.

Miss Hammy

2010-01-08T22:11:00.005+08:00

Miss Hammy left us today, evening time, died.

Hammy is a female syrian hamster my campmate gave me because he had too much and i wanted two as a surprise present.

Hammy, today you left us, hopefully for a better place somewhere out there.
You brought us laughter when u were around, fighting for the wheel with Mr Hammy who was twice as small, crawling around our hands like nobody's business.
Dont worry, we're going to get another Mr hammy to accompany the one that you left behind.
At least you left us "not being a virgin", caused you were caught in the act with Mr Hammy.
We dont know why you left, but im pretty sure you had your reasons.
Now you can be united with a few of your old friends back at your first home.
We love you hammy, and you'll forever be etched in our memories.

Not really in a mood to be funny and funky today, i tried my best, hope its still entertaining enough.

Life's short.

One of the World's greatest mysteries is the mind of a women

2010-01-07T18:32:00.005+08:00

"One of the World's greatest mysteries is the mind of a women"

When i was young and naive (its a reason, not an excuse), ive had what people think is "alot" of relationships, which of course i'm regretting now. Experience is the only thing that i've got from those days and when i really wanted to settle down, someone dumped me when i was on the hospital bed.

Those days are over though, im still thinking and discussing about settling down. Being in a relationship is the happiest and hardest period of my life. I thought with all those experiences that i have, i would have no problem in reading and dealing with her mind, my ass.

You'll never know anything.
You'll never know when she will start emo-ing.
You'll never know when she will start being unreasonable.
You'll never know when she will start complaining over the slightest thing in the world. (always?)
You'll never know when she is asking you to read in between the lines.
The only thing you'll ever know is you actually dont know anything.

So why do man still wants to be in a relationship? (guys i know you're thinking of sex, thats just one of the many reason)

Power, success, accomplishment, love, companionship and sex are the primary drive for one in our life.

Women can give us all of these, she can give me these, along with all the complains, quarrels, bullshit, headaches, complains, bullshit, headaches, quarrels, complains, quarrels ...... (typos checked.)

You think you truly know a women? no? who asked you to have a dick..

UNCLE..... shut up.....

2010-01-06T22:42:00.004+08:00

This morning i had to cab to work, not because i woke up late, its just my body doesnt wanna obey my mind, so i got stuck on my bed for an extra 20mins. I think 1/3 of my pathetic allowance from the government goes to comfort every month, im THAT lazy.

Anyway, wads interesting today was not how long i took to get out of my bed. Its how the taxi uncle unconsciously refuses to allow me to rest on his cab. The moment i got onto the cab, he started talking and talking and talking and talking. Wad is worse is he spoke to me in hokkien, and the only few hokkien words that im super familiar with are the knnbccb range of vocab, plus a few simple ones. So throughout the journey i was nodding my head, smiling, laughing when he laughs and trying to make him understand the direction i was giving him in chinese.

Just when i f-ing thought i could rest a little, he asked if my camp is the one at the taxi stand, and i replied "no, its the one at "lou shang" (upstairs in chinese)", and he freaked out. "its not lou shang, its shan shang" (my camp is located right at the top of the hill), blah blah blah blah blah - "uncle, my chinese not good, cannot blame" - and i immediately wished i didnt tell him this.

"You know singaporean language cannot make it, english sucks, chinese sucks, only 1% can speak proper english, say le you dont believe, last time i was a language teacher (like real), ang mo always laugh at our english, grammer all wrong, this that this that, and i was a tour guide last time, then ah #$&$$#%!%&$" (all in hokkien), there goes my morning nap =.=

He doesnt look old, so for him to be a teacher, tour guide and then my irritating taxi uncle, he must either be really lousy at his job, or he is too rich and wishes to try all sorts of stuffs before he retires.

Lucky me

2010-01-05T22:21:00.002+08:00

One is required to go for their recourse if they didnt finish their BMT (dropout halfway), or if their PES status is upgraded (E to C, ect).

2 of my campmates left for Tekong today for their recourse, and i was sitting happily in the office thinking "that could have been me". You see, i was a temp PES E for the first 6 mths of my employment under the government, and for my PES review i managed to convince the MO that im still super sick and im super unfit for combat.

I always get laughed at when i tell my friends that im really sick, and im only suitable for desk jobs, and i always get this question when i tell them ive skin problems -"HUH?? You've eczema?? where??" people, let me tell you now, you wanna know where? i'll tell you where.. in my records in NUH, BLACK AND WHITE- thats wad the MO need, thats wad the government is afraid of, me dying in Tekong, and im really grateful for that.

Trust

2010-01-05T13:55:00.002+08:00

When someone gives you their trust, you appreciate it.
When someone gives you their trust, you dont take it for granted.
When someone gives you their trust, you dont abuse it for your own use.
When someone gives you their trust, you give them back yours.
When i give you my trust, you do the above.

Dont fuck around with me.

Stuck

2010-01-04T22:14:00.005+08:00

Yellow peeps,

Alright, i have like 15 mins to complete this entry, gotta run and catch the second part of KING KONG, my campmate is starring in it..

<- we always disturb him, calling him ah meng, btw, he's featured in "old dogs" too.

I am a lazy person, but i think im also someone who has more than average patience. Maybe lazy and patience comes together, at least it does for me, half the time im too lazy to care.

Today while i was looking through my notes for my Mech Engineering in NTU, i was like "fuck! i'm too lazy to read through this shit", (3 more mins, im not gonna make it, so i guess i have to run out soon and come back during the breaks). Looking at those alien language on my math notes seriously placed a doubt in my mind, whether or not i'll survive that environment with all the "ah tiongs" in it, look, they do nothing but play ping pong while they were young, and the rest of the time is spent on studying - minus the time taken for basic human needs, and i have to spend 18years of my life looking at chicks, 2 years of my life getting employed by the organization called SAF. Compare this 2 and you'll know wad im worrying about, im wondering should i venture out to greener pastures where there are no "ah tiongs", places people call the arts fac.

@#$@#%$^&#&^&

2010-01-03T23:59:00.002+08:00

Man Utd freaking lost -- im gonna get laughed at tomorrow in camp.. and i freaking missed the match, which turns out to be a blessing in disguise, didnt waste my 90 mins, and now i will spend the rest of the night thinking if Man U could have won if i was watching and cheering for them.

The real reasons

2010-01-03T21:51:00.000+08:00

I thought i will be the last person to ever start a blog, apparently i'm wrong.

Last time i used to tell whoever who ask me if i have a blog, that i will never do it because I'm a guy, and guys shouldn do such stuffs and blah blah blah.. yeah so if u're one of those friend.. go ahead and shoot me now..

Usually when guys give their reasons for starting a blog, they'll go like "i wanna share my life with others (like who cares? unless they're totally gay)", "i wanna express my feelings on the net", "This", "that", whatever.. i've like tons of reasons for mine, and i sort of like forgot most of it.. those that i rmb, here they are,

- I'm bored
- I've been thinking alot, talking to myself alot, and i dont wanna think that im crazy.
- I've ppl whom i hate
- I need something to talk to (im not crazy)
- Cant rmb the rest, btw im straight.

No offences, usual blogs that i visit (i seldom read blogs) tells me everything that one did that day, everyone that they met, every cockroaches that they step on, and they do it EVERYDAY, which is boring shit to me. I dont have the patience to tell everyone that i took 16 steps to my lift today, went down and i saw a pretty chick walk by but i didnt have the balls to say hi, ate a bowl of porridge, shit-ed, watch some tv, right now im entering this entry and im going to sleep, see you tomorrow, and i certainly dont have the patience to do this everyday.

So, this shit is for me to look back, for me to bullshit, for me to complain, for me to vent my anger and frustration, for me to appreciate, for me to express my love, for me to laugh at people, for you to read ( if u're interested that is ), and just in case i forgot that i',m supposed to hate whoever whoever.

okie, im stuck and i dont know wad else to add on, until i have something interesting to entertain my digital diary, which wont be long, my life is so full of people who're like me, full of shit, seeya~~

PS- until i figure out how to change the fucking timing of my posts, it will all be wrong.